balsambreath:

I thought of texting you
"good morning, I can’t sleep"
and then I remembered
that you are on a journey
which I am not a part of
and that’s okay
but
good morning
I can’t sleep

queenrylan:

esotericalesbians:

it breaks my heart knowing that i will never receive a blowjob

what the fuck why do so many people think they will never receive a blowjob

Because we have vaginas

brie3po:

janebuzjane:

thoughtkiller:

clavid:

eloquentvibes:

clavid:

on the bright side i am not addicted to crack cocaine

On the downside I’m too poor to afford one.

one crack cocaine

hello drug dealer yes i would like to purchase one crack cocaine please

debit or credit

I actually have a gift card

benwinstagram:

little black dress AND rock me man harry’s gonna shove a mic up his ass can he handle this

domdean:

cuntakinte:

I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking slut

I hate playing “never have I ever” because I’m a fucking virgin

It's starting really soon.

wife-of-kevinfreakinsolo:

sickforya:

raise your hand if you’re tired and sad and wanna make out with a boy

*Raises hand slowly*

saddestblogger:

saddestblogger:

my former algebra teacher puts a stamp of her own face onto your quiz or test if you get a perfect score

i shit you not

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